Jun 29, 2016

#9 IIUM Study Duration


So today I've decided to write about study duration in IIUM. As you all know, IIUM foundation program is different from KPM matrix although both are under Ministry of High Education and both are matriculation program. Kalau korg dapat uia, means that korg dpt foundation and you will have to go to the foundation center(cfs) first. 

IIUM foundation program will provide the students a definite places in the main campus. Thats why higher requirement is needed for those who are not from cfs (direct intake) since the university have limitation in taking new students.

Unlike those who are taking UM foundation prog or KPM matrix, they have to do the second UPU after they finished their matriculation and all of them are scattered into different local university such as UKM or UPM. As for IIUM students, they dont have to do so. They'll eventually enter the main campus (Gombak/Kuantan) depends on the courses if they meet the entrance requirement (exit language)

IIUM foundation students have to sit for English Placement Test(EPT), Arabic Placement Test(APT), Fardu Ain and Tilawah test. All tests will determine your duration of study in foundation. There are 3 types of duration which are 1 year, 1.5 years and 2 years. You have to do well in the tests so that you will not wasting your time taking language courses. 

There are levels of the language courses. For example, for english, there are level 3 (lowest) until level 6 (highest) while for arabic there are two levels only. However, for arabic, this is not applicable for laws or human sciences or ikrhs because they have to learn higher level of arabic language until they enroll into the main campus.

If you are genius, you exampted from both courses, you are entitle for 1 year program. Which means you dont have to take any language courses and focus on the major subjects depends on your course. If you exampted or obtain highest level for one of the language, you can finish your foundation in 1.5 years. And if you didnt exampted both language, you have to stay for 2 years. However, this duration can be change when you do well in the first semester for language. As for me, I exampted from arabic during my first semester and changed my english level from 5 to 6. So I finished my foundation program in 1.5 years only instead of 2 years.

Lagi satu ujian Fardu Ain dgn Tilawah. Ujian fardu ain tu bertulis while tilawah is obviously oral test. I couldnt remember how this works tapi aku kena pergi kelas tilawah dan belajar from basic while my friend didnt have to (aku gagap baca Al-quran dulu). However, dkt main campus tilawah al quran is a credited subject ya. It is compulsory. 

At the end of every semester, you guys will have to sit for EPT and APT again untuk tentukan your next level dan sudah semestinya you'll eventually have to exit language. EPT ni mcm MUET cuma takde listening test je. As for APT, sama jugak. I remember that we have to do oral test in arabic. Tergagap gagap kau. Lepas tu asyik ulang ayat sama je smpi terkulat kulat dpn lecturer. Lol. Kalau kau exit, kau tak perlu ambil language dah. Tapi kalau tak exit korg naik level la. Aku tak pernah pula dgr ada org stuck at the same level but it is not impossible ya. Eventhough dkt cfs subjek language ni takde kredit pon tp dia university requirement. 

This is my own experience back in 2012 ya, I dont know if uia changed the system or not. But I think it isnt. Kalau minimum requirement to enter main campus for all courses tu ada aku dgr dia nk upgrade. Masa nak grad cfs dah ni, dpt rumors engineering students kena achieved minimum B for all subjects. Semua meroyan lah sbb dah final sem kot. There is no way we can change our grade dah. Aku pon ade je dpt C. Tapi alhamdulillah dia implemented in the next batch. Pheww. There are certain cgpa that students need to get to grad from cfs ok. Kalau engineering 2.5

Anyway, if you readers out there who accidentally found my blog while googling, thank you for reading. You can ask me if you dont understand by dropping some comments. Good luck and see ya in the next post. 

4 years ago. How time flies. 

Jun 28, 2016

#8. #PijahOffMalaysia : Turkey


At the end of last year, my mom and I decided to have a vacation to Turkey. After checking my semester's schedule, there was one trip provided by Kowamas Travel Agency during my midbreak in March. My mom will travel wherever she want every year and as for last year, she's gone for Bosnia and this year Turkey and Europe (end of this year). So, she's willingly to sponsor me (thanks mom. Later I'll sponsor you to Swiss).

However, approaching midbreak, lecturers tend to do midterms and I have to reschedule my midterm of one of the subject bcs I have to fly 18/3 at 0200 and I have midterm on that morning. Nasib baik Dr Yose considerate orangnya. Tak kisah lah midterm dekat nak final pon as long as I can go for my vacation. 17/3 at 5pm I have maths 5 midterm. Lepas habis paper pkul 7 pm tu terus rempit balik rumah nak packing (yes aku tak packing lagiii) sebab nak gerak KLIA pkul 9pm. Mampus.  Bla bla bla I managed to settled down everything and arrived at KLIA on time. Pheww. And of course we forgot things but we didnt realized it yet. My mom and I mmg travel ikut agency je sbb senang semua diuruskan tapi terhad lah tmpt2 lawatan dia sbb kite kena ikut itinerary agency and as usual my group is full of makciks and pakciks sebab mereka ni dah tua baru la berpeluang nak jalan2 gituu. 

I travelled for about 12 hours to Istanbul with 7 hours flight to Doha for transit and 5 hours from Doha to Istanbul. Turkey is 6 hours late compared to Malaysia so I was a bit confused with the timing of solat but we jamak and qasar everything. Yeah! So we arrived in Istanbul at 7am (local time in Istanbul). So we straight to visit all places. I'm not sure I can remember everything or not but I'll try to make it short and simple and I'll put some pictures of course. Heheh

Day 1: 
As far as I remember, as we arrived semua singgah solat but I'm not (Yknow. Lol) and after we got into the bus (ade wifi okay!) and tour Istanbul kot. Lepas jalan2 Istanbul and all, tiba2 dah tengahari so we grabbed our lunch dkt Galata Bridge. Makan nasi dgn ikan. Tbh, I dont really like the appetizers it makes me loss my appetite but since its just the first day, bantai jelah semua kan. Appetizers dia biasanya sup kacang mcm kacang kuda tu or tomato sup (I really dont like the soup), roti keras namati dgn sayuran. 

Tulips everywhere in the city. weee

Then, lepas habis makan kami naik bas pergi ke Bursa menaiki feri. I swear it was so cold and I didnt bring my winter coat bcs I forgot and my mom who packed everything up 2 weeks earlier didnt bring it too sbb dia ingt sejuk mcm dalam office je. Why is my mom liek diss?? Its freezing but it didnt stop me from taking pictures of course. Aku rasa menyesal gak sbb asyik ambil gambar muka sendiri je instead of capturing the scenery. Sigh. 

Hey bro!

Lepastu tak silap aku check in hotel kot. Eeii bosan betul lah. This is the part that I dont like. Letak bontot dlm bas lepastu tiba2 dah malam and then check in hotel. Membazir masa tahu tak? I ranted this to my mom and she said she wants to go to Istanbul again. Wiwiwi

Day 2

The next day in Bursa it is colder than Istanbul and we were wearing one piece of clothes (I'm dying). I asked my mom for sweater or whatever that can make us feel warm. Mak belikan in the next day rasanya. Hehehe. 

So, we went to Bursa Mosque. I didnt pay attention to what has been said by the travel guide, Erhan bcs most of it was about history and I'm dying to take photos je at that time. Lol. 

@ Bursa Mosque w my mom

Everywhere got tulips la deyy

@ Cumalikizik Village

The appetizers that I dislike

Delicious bcs its meat but the rice is too sticky.

When we were on our way to Bursa, there were news about bombing in Istanbul and Ankara if I'm not mistaken. Fortunately we left the city earlier. 

Day 3: 

We went to Pamukkale hot springs or cotton castle. 

Rendam kaki dlm hotspring. Idk why the water made my feet feel itchy. 

The cotton castle is the neighbour of the Hierapolis ancient city.

Yeahh forgot to button my shirt. Lelz
Yeayy I got my sweater.

Day 4: 

We off to Cappadoccia bebeh. Hot air ballon is freakin famous in Cappadoccia. However, my mom and I decided to not have the ride bcs of its crazy expensive price (USD 220). According to those who took the ride, there was no sunrise at that time because it was raining the night before so their objective to see the sunrise wasnt achieved so it was just a waste of money. Lol

The view are supposed to look like this but they werent

 Since we didnt go for hot air ballon, we have to stay in the hotel. Ni aku tak puas hati dgn travel agency. Because, I accidentally found someone's photo who was in diff agency, they got to go to the site to take pictures. Rugi la aku pergi sini sbb ingtkan tak dpt naik boleh la sekadar ambil gambar je rupanya tak. Aku tak reccomend travel agency ni. Menyampah. 

There were so many former cave houses mcm Goreme, Uchisar which formed naturally.

Camel rock (bukan Bretman Rock. Lol)

Makan sini paling sedap. Appetizer dia spaghetti okay!

Mesti ada compulsory places yg kerajaan suruh tourist pergi.
As for turkey, its ceramics and carpet

Derinkuyu Underground City.
Seksa betul aku nak masuk.
How on earth Turkish zaman dulu live in here??

That is tree full of Turkish amulet.
Kalau org melayu depa tuduh agenda dajjal dah pasal nmpk mcm mata satu. Lol

Favourite restaurant bcs they served foods with music. Hehe

Day 5: 

We went to Ankara. Nasib baik isu bombing tu dah reda. There were so many police and the security controls in Ankara was very tight. So we went to Anitkabir, mcm muzium je. Tak menarik pon. I hate museum I hate history so I was just lepak kat luar and was taking pictures with my mom. 

Favourite photo.
Thanks to my mom. Finally! a perfect picture. 


Hai abam

Day 6: 
Yeay we were in Istanbul again. Climax lah ni sbb nak balik Malaysia dah. So we were in Istanbul for 2 days before going back. Shopping is a must!

Cat in Hagia Sophia

Tulips in Topkapi Palace

Topkapi palace. Grumpy day. Me in red

On cruise from Asia to Europe.
(Turkey is both on Asia and Europe separated by bridge je)

Sultanahmet Mosque. Tgklah aku je yg paling muda. Takde geng. 

Left is Asia, Right is Europe if I'm not mistaken. 

Sultanahmet Square.

Ada street food tu try la tapi tak dijamin sedap since Turkish food is usually bland.
I bought something like this filled with nutella but it was so keras I can lose my teeth. Lol

It is compulsory to try this. Apple tea. 

Hagia Sophia

Shopping activity which was off itinerary.
We went to Taksim for Hardrock Cafe

Spice Market

Spice market ni mmg best and macam2 ada. Compared to Grand Bazaar, Spice Market offers much more affordable price for everything. Grand Bazaar peniaga dia kerek nak mampus tak boleh bargain langsung.

My mom wanted to buy a leather jacket but the price is so expensive. Bila kite taknak beli peniaga tu kejar sambil tawarkan harga murah. Lol. Tadi aku nk beli takde plak nak tawar menawar. Mak aku pon satu, bajet 100 Lira mane dapat murah mcm tu. Lepas tu blur2. Tapi dah nak sgt dia beli la satu after tukar bajet to USD100 tapi jacket tu hodoh. Lol. 

We off back to Malaysia in the next day. Sedihh. Ok now aku nak komen tentang travel agency, Kowamas. Mak aku pilih ni pun sbb dia pernah sekali guna kowamas masa pergi Bosnia. To be honest, aku tak puas hati dengan travel agency ni and aku rasa rugi tak komplen masa dia bagi borang to rate the service. First, aku tak puas hati kebanyakan masa dibazirkan tidur dalam bas sahaja sbb perjalanan sangat panjang mcm dari Pamukkale ke Cappadoccia tu about 500km. So, I didnt suggest to them for next trip mereka kena compensate lah pembaziran masa tu dgn penambahan satu hari lagi. We didnt pay to waste our time in the bus. Since we were tired, jetlag pon tak berabis mmg lah tidur je instead of enjoying the scenery. 

Tapi nak tak puas hati pun, bayar package murah sikit drpd travel agency lain. Kalau guna duit aku, of course aku akan tambah je beberapa ratus to get more satisfying travel agency services. But since my mom tanggung semua aku telan jelah ketidakpuasan hati tu. Next time no more Kowamas kot. Second, according to my mom, tour guide kali ni kurang mesra compared to yg dia dpt masa pergi Bosnia. Maybe sbb org muda kot. Harap handsome aje lah. Lol. But he's fine. 

However, I am so glad my mom and I can get along with those who were in the group because my mom is friendly but I am not. Sampai sekarang pon they all still keep in touch dkt whatsapp group. Siap plan lagi lepas ni nak pergi mana. Orang2 tua ni semua mmg frequent traveller la mcm mak aku. Eventhough its just once a year, I considered that as frequent. 

Some of the makciks and akaks. Haha

I think thats all for now. See ya in the next post ya. Bye~

Jun 27, 2016

#7 Life in IIUM *part 2


So, today I want to rant everything related to my studies as IIUM undergrad student. As for engineering students, before we graduated from cfs, each and everyone of us got to choose which major we would like to further our study in. There are 8 majors which you guys (*ade ke yg baca? Lol) can refer here. At that time there were just 8 major courses but civil eng is just implemented in the kuliyyah last semester rasanya. 

Anyway, at first, I'd like to take CIE which is computer information engineering. However, my passion towards programming faded as the time goes by. Fortunately I passed the course. Pheww. I eventually wrote biotech engineering as my first choice and automotive engineering as second choice and obviously I got biotech eng. I dont understand myself for taking bio courses because I swear I would never involve in bio again after SPM.

And so, in 2014 if I not mistaken, I enrolled into the main campus together w my roomate, Anna. She finished her foundation in 1.5 years too. Fuhh nasib baik ada kawan. Unfortunately, we were separated as I got Mahallah Halimah while she got Mahallah Asma. I was like. Ok takpelah nnt kelas kite kena sama2. Lol. I loooovveee my mahallah seriously. Although none of my acquintances *(I'm not friendly. Lol) are living in this mahallah, I love it. After the registration, as usual, we have to prepare ourselves for taaruf programs which has been arranged by the university. I dont really like taaruf week because it makes us tired. Tired of listening to ceramah although everything is important for us to know. Nasib baik lah taaruf week takes 3 days je. Because my batch completed cfs in 1.5 years. I'll update about all this complicated iium system in the next next post ok.

Finished taaruf week :D

Tour around campus. Uols yg masuk uia kena tour cari kelas okay! 

Lepak by riverside after class and yes! I recycled my outfit. Lol. Malass. 
Ni masa 1st sem je kosser, lepas tu tmpt ni tak jejak dah XD

I couldnt remember how, but I managed to be in the same class/section as Anna for all subjects in the first semester. Yeayy. Everything gone smoothly *my expectation. Aku tak tahu apa masalah aku but I am so calm in everything and somehow it kills me and it does on the first semester. I have to repeat calculus 1 in my very first semester. I screwed up. Supposed we have to aim high in the first sem but I started with obviously low cgpa bcs I have to repeat one subject. I'm okay, I can handle it and in few semester later I managed to pass all subjects in every semester. I swear passing all subjects matter than getting dean's list. Seriously. But this is not applicable for scholarship holder and for those who are freakin genius.

2nd year, masuk major. 

The courses in degree is totally different than what I have learn back in cfs, I have to take 5 different mathematics. Alhamdulillah I passed all five which the last one I took in my previous semester. No more maths after this but application of maths *cried. Also, during my degree I discovered that I am so bad in mechanical field. I hate all subjects involving mechanical engineering. Dynamics, statics, fluid mechanics you name it. I think that is the hikmah I didnt get automotive eng. I have no passion in it at all and I miraculously doing good in chemistry and biology although I have to read a lot. 

However, ada je subjek bio yang aku tak suka mcm biochemistry and Pmass which I have to repeat em last sem. I am so tabah last semester. Swallowed the same thing all over again due to my recklessness. I have to do well in the next semester. There are no time to waste for another repeatititon. Please pray for me. 

Now its 2016, I am a 3rd year iium engineering students and currently taking short semester because I want to reduce the workload of my final semester later next year. I have to set my goals to be on track. I cannot fall into making the same mistakes again. It is all about survival right now. I have to survive to be iium engineering graduate bcs that is the Malaysian education system is all about right? Sigh. 

Despite being introvert, two semesters back I volunteer in convocation fiesta (CONVEST) as committee. I'm outta my comfort zone bebeh. I met new friends and learn how to manage big event like CONVEST. Dah lah first time, then join event terbesar then dpt post leader. How on earth this happened laaa. Hahaha. Tapi nasib baik everything is fine. Aku manage teater je, jadi management team yg berat production team la by teater production house. Aku dpt biro general task which we have to print everything from poster, tickets and banner. I will never choose genta again sbb ni lah biro paling banyak guna duit sendiri lepas tu claim dkt iium management like hello? We students nak survive guna ptptn pon tercungap cungap nak suruh guna duit sendiri apahal? Hahaha. Tapi, seiring meningkat usia kena la independent right. Ade la fund raising and such utk dptkan duit. Best la, dpt experience takde la duduk dalam bilik dan study je. FYI, aku kurang gemar join program. Entahlah tak berapa suka pergi meeting sume tu. But if I started it, I have to be commited lah. Be responsible gitu.
Convest's teater management team

I think thats it for now. I'll will also make a post about how I plan my study plan later and it'll beneficial for those who will enter IIUM, accidentally found my blog. Lol. And btw, I had vacation to Turkey last midbreak and I'm so excited to share it here. See ya in the next post ;D

Jun 26, 2016

#6 Life in IIUM


Suddenly I miss those days back in cfs. In every aspects. seriously. I miss living in the small room sharing it with three roomates and we got to see each others' faces because there are no compartments like in the main campus, cheaper foods in the cafe, short distances of mahallahs w the classes, receiving allowance every semesters, going to pasar malam every tuesdays, lepak midvalley wearing jubah bcs we are the iium students *LOL

When I  got to know that I've been accepted into iium, my mom is so happy and deep down in my heart, I am so thankful because I finally got to enter my dream university *according to the 17 y/o me.Lol
I dont know why I wanted to enter iium but Allah had finally fulfilled my wish. Before I enter iium, I've never stayed in the hostel bcs I just went to the sekolah harian. I dont know what to feel when I finally got to experience staying in the hostel w my friends but the first night of staying there, I cried. Lol. Before I sleep. Lol.

On top of no experience staying in hostel I am not friendly. I dont know how to make friends. Thankfully, I got to get along w my classmates and my roomates. I'm glad that we are still friends until today. Thank you guys for accepting me who is having fierce and emotionless face. Lol. Mentioned about not having experience in hostel while others does, I learnt to survive by observing people. Haha. 

Enrolled into iium, EPT and APT is compulsory. Goshhh I cant believe I survived those subjects. It is like 12 hours of contact hours in a week, classes until 6 pm. Bencinya kelas language waktu tu. Alhamdulillah I passed level 1 of arabic but I have to learn english level 6 in the second semester. I am not smart but somehow I manage to survive foundation with CGPA 2.5. Ok lah beb. Hahaha. I am moderate. I'm not targetting for dean's list. As long as I can enter the main campus, it is good enough. 

Back in cfs, we were living in a room of four. Katil double decker. Masa mula2 masuk, aku sampai awal utk cop katil bawah. Duduk atas jadi target pocong katanya. Bullshit betul. Hahaha. Aku sampai awal, bilik pon level 1 tapi duduk blok belakang. For those who know how H the shape of KC, blok D tu takde pemandangan. Pemandangan rumah org dgn pokok besar je. Alhamdulillah takde pengalaman dgn hantu. Lol

Then, I met anna, shasya and tirah. Nak cerita semua yang berlaku its just too long. Its freakin one year experience living together okay. But the most favourite thing back then is studying together dkt meja tu berderet deret. Meja hadap tingkap. Aku kan sekolah biasa, mana ada study ni. Nak exam pon aku masih bermain main. There are no pressures being put on my shoulders. Aku takde target nak fly overseas or getting scholarship and such. Aku just go w the flow and end up in uia. Aku
free. But somehow, my SPM results is good la kan boleh masuk uia ni ha. Hahaha. 

So, bila roomates was preparing for EPT and APT aku terkejut lah. I'm like 'wow guys, korg study? Seriously? I dont even know what to study' and I end up tidur je lah. Tapi ok je english level 5 and arabic level 1 bcs I just wrote my name and leave the hall. Lol. So basically w my language results, I'm in the 2 years program but I managed to do it for 1.5 years je by squeezing all remaining subjects into one final semesters and I passed. Yeay! I'm going to main campus. Woohooo. 

I miss nasi ayam percik tho. Every selasa mesti pergi pasar malam. Being 18 and iium students, aku tak tahu ini norma or what tapi semua mesti ada rasa nak kahwin awal. Duhhh we are such an immature pricks. Kahwin awal? Seriously? We cant even manage ourselves okay. So, what is the relation of kahwin awal and pasar malam? Usha jodoh beb. Aduhh dasar tak matang betul time tu. But foods is obviously our main concern lah and my fav food is nasi ayam percik. Sedap beb. Tak macam ayam percik biasa sbb dia pedas2 and berempah sikit. Pastu jalan2 pasar malam usha jodoh, otw masuk campus ramai jodoh lalu lalang nihh fuhh rambang mata mana satu nak pilih mcmlah jodoh tu boleh tangkap muat aje mana2. Lepastu lalu padang plak. Alamak ai brother sado main bola, fuhh usha jodoh lagii, yang pompuan usha lelaki, yg lelaki dah tentu2 usha perempuan melenggang balik pasar. Mashaallah masa tu mmg gelenyar habis. Malu bila memikirkannya. Bila dah masuk main camp, seriously berlambak lagi senior2 yg potential jd suami. Lol. Tapi commitment dah lain dah. Quiz every week. Mana ada masa nak usha2 dah lantak p mampuih je la kat situ aku nak balik tidur or aku busy kejar due date assignments. Hahaha

Then, masa cfs every sem dpt allowance, 1K. Bnyk la masa tu. Heaven k sbb I can buy whtv I want gitu. Mmg cukup la sbb masa tu cost of living is not crazy high mcm skrg. But in main campus, alhamdulillah I manage to self sponsored myself. Mak aku simpankan duit since I was 16. So dia tolong lah bayarkan yuran, bg duit belanja and such. Thanks mak. Alhamdulillah habis belajar nnt aku takde hutang boleh bagi mak duit gaji aku. I think that is my greatest nikmat kot. Bcs high edu in Malaysia is expensive and we dont know how we'll end up. But I'll just fulfill my responsibility as a daughter and khalifah. Let Allah do the rest. All the best in life everybody ;)

2012, Being 18 and gelenyar. Hahaha

Tu cerita masa cfs. Later, I'll upload my stories bila dah masuk main campus. Hohoho. Gn!

Jun 20, 2016

#5 Rezeki Ramadan


Salam ramadan everybody. 17/6/16 adalah hari yg sgt mendebarkan buat semua iium students. Sebab nak check result exam. Mula2 kata boleh check pkul 12 malam. Punyalah gigih masing2 gigih tunggu nak check result dgn berdebarnya lagi. Makan berbuka pon tak lalu. Alih2 kena troll esok ptg pkul 5 baru boleh tgk result. Padiyappa betul uia. Ok fine lah tggu jelah nak buat mcm mana kan. Sambung lah ke-tidak keruan-an sbb takut tu smpi ptg esok. 

Feeling aku sem ni tak mcm sem lepas tau. Sem lepas aku teramat risau sbb aku tahu aku messed up so tak sedap duduk r tunggu result and result keluar dpt expected and unexpected lah. Unexpected sbb fluid mechanics lulus. Time aku final tu mcm cacing kepanasan tau sbb soalan cam harem susahnya dgn CAM pon hampeh alih2 lulus. Alhamdulillah. Dalam case aku takde risau tak dpt DL tau, lulus tu mmg nikmat terbesar lah dlm uia. Lol

Expectednya kena repeat lah subject2 yg aku tak perform tu iaitu Principles of Mass and Energy Balances(PMass) dgn Biochemistry. FYI, aku biochemical engineering. So repeatlah aku dedua subject ni dgn kawan2 aku yg turut sama kecundang. Lol. 

So, sem yg baru2 ni habis ni 17 hb haritu check result. Hati aku punah utk kesekian kalinya sbb still failed PMass. Kau tak tahu hancur mcm mana hati aku masa tu. Aku kenang balik semua dosa2 aku, apa yg aku dah buat to deserve this. Aku nangis, aku doa, aku nangis lagi. Kau bayang la nak kena repeat subjek sama dua kali sedangkan kwn2 kau dah stepped into another level tapi kau masih di takuk lama. Yang repeaters tahu la perasaan dia mcm mana. Dah lah subjek pmass ni bnyk assignment dgn kena hadap lecturer sama lagi.

Aku dok bayang la aku attend lagi kelas yg sama, lecturer sama, silibus sama, kau paham tp dont get it. Paham tak mcm mana tu. Yang beza you are surrounded with your junior dgn venue yang lain. Bayangkan aku kena repeat lg, study plan aku tunggang langgang lagi. Mmg down habis lah. Anna tanya aku result pon aku tak layan sbb tak nak dia tahu aku failed sedangkan dia pass. Mmg sakit ah masa tu. Aku berkurung tak nak mandi, pakai facial routines sume. But it lasts for about 5 hours only. Lol

Bila dah lepas 5 jam aku dah rasional balik. Aku yakin aku boleh buat exam haritu tp pasal apa aku fail lagi ni. That is my thought. So I've decided to do a rechecking on my final exam papers. Aku meroyan royan la kat Anna. Diberi kata2 semangat dan keyakinan utk bangkit etc. Ok fine aku akan recheck jugak despite the complex procedure and takes long time to be process. Aku email lecturer kata nak consult, dia kata ok. Aku tak kira nak korek gak markah drpd final exam paper aku kalau betul aku messed up final haritu. 

Check result jumaat, sepanjang sabtu ahad tu aku berdoa la despite keuzuran tp ni bulan ramadan penuh berkah. Takpe doa je dgn penuh rasa hina sbg hamba. Dan akhirnya tibalah hari ini 20hb aku pergi jumpa lecturer. Aku bagitau sir aku dpt D- dan aku dah lakukan yg terbaik masa exam haritu. Dia pon check la kat computer dia. DIA KATA GRED AKU SUPPOSED B-


Aku mmg berharap dia salah key in markah. Supposed I obtained 23.5% in final and my CAM is 37.84% so supposed I got 61.34 its a B-. Dia salah key in jadi 3.5 je final exam aku. Ewah ewah betul.

OH TUHAN, WHAT KIND OF FATE IS THIZZZZZ. MASA TU AKU DAH NANGIS DAH tp bukan dpn lecturer la. Sir kata dont worry too much he will help in changing the the grade dkt deans office. Lepas sejam mcm tu dpt email. Dia kata dia dah tukar grade. Ya ALLAH MASA TU AKU RASA BERSYUKUR SANGAT. ALHAMDULILLAH. BERKAT RAMADAN, REZEKI RAMADAN. 

Aku bersyukur sgt aku melatah kejap je dan tak mudah pasrah tapi ikhtiar lagi and its end up like this. Seriously ni mmg pengalaman baru aku. Mujur tukar grade tu tak leceh sbb kejap je and kesilapan pun bukan dtg dari pihak aku. 

All praises is for Allah the Most Gracious, the author of all existence and the creator of heaven and earth. Alhamdulillah for everything. Dengan pertolongan Allah semua ini terjadi. Aku percaya semua ni satu ujian. Sebab haritu aku terdengar dlm radio dia kata "hidup ni satu ujian, mcm mana kita yakin kita masuk syurga kalau tak diuji" betul lah tu dan dlm Al-Quran pon ada mention.

Maka terdetiklah dlm hati aku "haah lah aku belum diuji lagi mcm mana nak masuk syurga. Setakat ujian dari segi akademik (eg: fail subject) tu kecik je". Lebih kurang mcm tu la terdetik dlm hati aku. Lepas tu bila dah kena mcm ni, aku jadi menyesal. Sbb ternyata aku dah tak kuat utk diuji dari segi akademik mcm ni.

I'm currently in my 3rd year of study and I have 3 semesters left excluding the internship so there is no way I can repeat any subject dah lepas ni sbb nnt subject2 lain yg terkeluar drpd landasan study plan tu tak tahu nak letak mana. Tapi Alhamdulillah, Allah dah permudahkan urusan aku dan diberi penamat yg baik. 

To all repeaters, jangan lah mengalah dan give up. Aku tahu dgn kata2 semangat yg berbagai2 drpd sesiapa je disekeliling kau takkan bantu kau lulus. Tp ingt lah kau lulus dgn efforts. Kalau kau tahu kau messed up, terima and keep moving forward. Berazam utk tak ulang lagi masuk lubang kegagalan yang sama.

Ye, takdir aku mcm ni. Takdir kite lain2. So kau kena bersangka baik to the author of all existence, Allah. Dia lah yang berkuasa buat mcm2 dlm hidup kita. Tugas kite ialah minta, doa. Mmg Dia nak kita minta sbb kita hina, miskin and insignificant to Him. Sbb dia nak kita sembah Dia je. Yang Maha Layak utk disembah. 

Jun 9, 2016

#4 Abah


Its been a while since I write in my blog right? Btw, Selamat Menyambut Ramadan al Mubarak. Semoga Allah menerima ibadah kita di bulan mulia ni :)

As you can read in the title. I'm going to write about the last hour of Abah in this world. Abah has left us 9/2/15 on 1.30 pm. 

FYI, abah dah lama mengidap penyakit kencing manis, darah tinggi and he is suspected to have sakit jantung some more and during the past few years before abah meninggal dia sakit buah pinggang and its getting worse.  

Its Abah's 59th birthday. As usual, every week I went home from UIA. Its thursday and I dont have classes on friday. I arrived in the evening. My sister told me Abah wanted to have an orange cake for his birthday. She asked me to go and buy it. Okay. I went to the bakery that we used to buy cake after Maghrib. Luckily, they're selling an orange cake at that time. 

Kebetulan masa tu adik beradik aku semua ada kt rumah. Kiteorg makan la kek tu sama2 sambut birthday abah. Abah makan sikit je. 

Abah masuk hospital. Dalam setahun aku ada la beberapa kali abah admitted and then doktor discharge kan. Mcm tu je. But this time it is his last time. 

Abah admitted sbb kaki abah bengkak. Bnyk air dlm badan dia yg his kidneys tak boleh nyahkan dari badan sebab dah rosak. Sebelum masuk hospital kali ni, abah ada masuk sekali utk cuci darah. Kaki dia pon ada la mengecut sikit. Lepas tu discharged. 

Bila abah masuk hospital kali ni, aku mmg dah rasa tak sedap hati. Perasaan aku tu mmg tak boleh nk cerita mcm mana dia punya tak sedap. Tp aku mcm rasa Abah nk pergi dah. 

Malam tu doktor call mak suruh dtg hospital. Aku yg bwk mak masa tu. Doktor bgtau abah kena dialisis. Sbb buah pinggang abah dah rosak. Kalau tak dialisis toksin dlm badan akan semakin bertambah dan boleh menyebabkan kematian. 

Aku dgn mak suruh abah dialisis bgtau la pasal toksin sume tu. Abah mmg dari dulu taknak dialisis. Mmg dari dulu buah pinggang dia rosak tp dia tak nak dialisis. 

Kalau dia dialisis hidup dia susah. Kena cuci darah 3 kali seminggu. Mmg tak boleh pegi mana2 la. Sbb abah aku suka balik kampung kalau anak2 boleh bwk kan. So, dia mmg tak nak. 

Tp aku tak tahu apa yg menyebabkan dia ubah fikiran. Dia bgtau doktor dia nk buat dialisis plak lepas jumpa aku dgn mak aku. Doktor pon dtg laa bincang2 semua, tny kenapa boleh ubah fikiran tiba2, dialisis bukan perkara main2 it is for a lifetime sampai bila2 apa semua. Abah kata dia nak jugak. 

Ok fine. Doktor buat tapak. Tapak utk sambung wayar machine dialisis dgn abah. Dkt kiri peha dia. On the spot tu jugak. 


Aku dgn mak pegi melawat abah. Aku tak tahu kenapa kteorg tak teman abah waktu malam2. Padahal boleh je sorg teman patient kan. Aku tak tahu. Abah lapar. Makanan hospital dah ada dah. Tp nurse kata abah tak boleh makan. Tp abah degil dia nk makan jugak. Last2 nurse perasan abah nk makan, dia terpaksa halang. Lepastu kteorg duduk jela dkt abah teman abah kt situ. Aku perasan abah nangis. Mungkin sedih dia tak dpt makan. Abah mmg suka makan. Bila dah jd mcm ni dia tak boleh makan. 

Dia dah dialisis sekali tak silap aku waktu tu. Abah nampak lemah. Dia pakai oxygen mask yg paling powerful time tu. Sbb he was short of breath. Mak urut2 je abah time tu. Aku urut kaki abah. Kaki dia still bengkak mcm biasa tp surut sikit. 

Masa ni la perasaan aku tak sedap. Aku rasa mcm tu la kali terakhir aku dpt tgk abah buka mata. Aku terpaksa balik sbb esok ada kelas. Disebabkan abah selalu masuk hospital la kteorg sangka yg nnt abah akan discharge akhirnya. Tp kteorg silap. 


Pagi2 tu aku gerak balik uia sbb ada kelas. Motor aku plak buat hal enjin dia bunyi mcm nk pecah. Mujur smpi uia. Aku pegi kelas jalan kaki haritu. Hari isnin. So aku ada lab first. Masa tu aku baru 2nd year 1st sem. 

Habis je kelas tghr tu, aku dgn anna pegi musolla nk solat zohor. Sementara tunggu azan tu, mak aku call. Mak suruh aku balik. Abah tgh tak stabil. Aku dah tak sedap hati pasal abah. Aku solat zohor pastu aku ckp ngn anna aku kena balik nnt apa2 hal aku bgtau. 

Kakak aku, Nazihah call aku suruh aku balik cepat. Abah masuk ICU. Tapi motor aku rosak. Nazihah kata tggu Baiyah amek la kalau mcm tu. Lepas tu bila aku fikir2, abah nak pergi dah ni. Aku terus lari balik mahallah amek motor. Terus rempit g hospital. Smpi hospital ekzos motor aku meletup. Nasib baik smpi.

Aku terus lari g ICU. Masuk2 je aku nampak mak tgh baca yasin. Ah sudah. Biar betul. Betul ke ni?? Mcm2 aku fikir time tu. Aku tny abah. Mana abah? Tp aku duduk dulu jap. Penat lari pakai jubah. Ape benda entah doktor bebel aku tanak tahu mana abah je skrg. Mak bgtau aku, masa nk dialisis pagi tadi abah unconcious and tak stabil and doktor tgh bg abah cpr. Jantung abah dah berhenti 3 kali. 

Tak lama lepas tu doktor sorg lagi masuk, dia bgtau abah dah meninggal. Fuhh, buat sesiapa yg tak pernah rasa kehilangan yg sgt besar mcm ni, mmg takkan tahu apa yg aku rasa masa tu. Aku tak boleh nk describe mcm mana. Jantung aku rasa mcm nk pecah. Biar betul doktor ni. Takkan la aku dah jadi yatim piatu dah ni. 

Apa2 pun, doktor suruh kteorg tgk abah. Aku g tgk. Abah ada lagi. Berselirat wayar2 kt badan dia. Abah ada lagi. Machine tu tak tunjuk line yg straight sambil keluarkan bunyi org mati tu. Abah ada lagi. Masa tu ada aku,abang aku, mak, kakak Nazihah, suami nazihah dgn pakcik aku. Aku ajar abah mengucap. Tp emosi sedih aku sgt tinggi. Aku tak leh teruskan. Aku suruh abang aku ajar. Aku duduk tepi sambil nangis2. Aku pegang tgn abah. Dah kaku. Tp dia masih bernafas. Tak lama lepas tu dia tak de. Dah pergi. 

Masa tu mmg terasa sedih. Abah dah takde. Aku call kakak Baiyah dgn Kak Ct. Bagitau abah dah takde. Dorg dua je tak sempat tgk abah. Masa tu mmg basah habis lah muka aku. Air mata mmg tak berhenti mcm air paip. Sedih gile. Teramat sgt. Aku kenang balik segala memoro aku dgn abah.

Aku belum sempat balas jasa abah. Aku belum sempat turutkan semua kemahuan abah. Abah tak sempat walikan aku kalau aku kawen. Abah tak sempat tgk cucu cucu dia, zuriat aku. Semua impian yg aku nk bina, abah tak sempat tgk aku realisasikannya dan rasa bangga dgn anak bongsu dia. Time tu aku tak perlukan kata2 penguat dr sapa2 pun sbb dorg tak rasa apa yg aku rasa. 

Masa tgh tggu staff hospital uruskan jenazah tu mmg aku nangis je. Emosi menggunung. Aku lupa ada hikmah di sebalik semua ni. 

Jiran2 sedara mara aku semua dah ada kt situ. Kwn2 abang aku, kwn2 mak aku. Memang ramai. Tggu jenazah. Abah dimandikan dkt hospital je. That time, l got myself together. Boleh la baca yasin sikit2 tp tak habis sementara tggu jenazah. Semua selesai waktu asar. Kak ct smpi nangis2. Dia tak sempat tgk abah. 

Lepas siap mandi, kteorg sume tgk muka abah kali terakhir. Kteorg cium abah. Masa tu kalau aku tak kawal mmg air mata aku jatuh atas abah. 

Abang aku ckp nk kebumi lps maghrib. So, kteorg pon balik la rumah. Malam tu aku solat kt surau. Sbb abah ada kt situ. Tak lama lepastu, van jenazah sampai. 

Semua ramai2 bawak abah pergi kubur. His last ride. Kalau difikirkan semula semua nya berlaku dgn pantas. Mmg Allah permudahkan urusan pengkebumian. Lepas pada tu, aku tak ingt apa2. 

Dua hari aku tak pegi kelas. Kalau ikutkan tak nak pegi seminggu. Tp entahlah. Aku gagahkan diri jugak. 

Tahun ni ramadan kedua tanpa abah. Setiap kali ramadan aku teringat abah. Waktu dia sihat mmg mcm2 makanan dia belikan. Masa dia tak sihat pon mcm2 dia belikan, cumanya aku la yg driver. Bwk dia ke sana ke mari. 

Bila abah dah takda, ayat favourite mak "kalau abah ada..." 

Entahlah. Aku redha. Bila fikir semula, kalau abah panjang umur smpi skrg, dia terseksa. Penyakit dia mmg kronik. Dkt sijil mati pon tulis "acute coronary disease and chronic kidney disease". But basically abah meninggal sbb heart attack. 

Hidup dkt dunia ni sementara. By hook or by crook kita mmg akan pergi. Its all about timing. Abah's time is up. Hargai la ibu bapa korg. Bila dah takde ni la baru kau rasa mcm nk buat sesuatu utk berbakti. Tapi apa la gunanya kalau dah takde. Doa je la yg mengiringi. Pergi la ke seluruh dunia, mmg takkan jumpe lagi dah. Ade satu je. 

Al Fatihah utk abah.